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The Bar Crusaders
One of alcohol’s super powers, among many, is its ability to elevate a drunk person’s level of certainty. Over the years bars have become the prime venue for debating every idea, concept and theory...
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TheRealBarman Goes Fine Dining
I have always wondered if being raised under different circumstances would have shaped me into something more refined. You know, oil paintings and Persian rugs and a closet brimming with velvet? But...
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Dear PETA, Can I Please Join Your Extremist Group?
ANGRY PETA GIRL I love animals. Probably because they boost my self-esteem and don’t judge me when I eat an entire cheese cake or watch porn. When things are going wrong, they show up at just the...
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TheRealBarman Voted Best Bartender in the Bay Area by Some Drunk Guy who...
Finally, after all these years I’ve received the recognition I deserve. This guy told me last night that I was the best bartender in the Bay Area. I’m not sure what his credentials are, but I’m...
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Duane the Mixologist
Hello, my name is Duane. I am a mixologist. People call me Duane the mixologist. If you need a cocktail, please do not call out, “Hey bartender,” because I will not respond, as I am not a bartender....
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10 Things You Are Certain to do When You’re Wasted!
1. Lose your hearing. Either that or you become extremely nearsighted because when you are wasted, you will shout at someone standing two feet away from you as if they are on the other side of a...
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Bar Etiquette: How to Keep the Bartender Happy
Occupational hazards are a way of life no matter your profession: doctors are required to be in the presence of the sick and dying, construction workers are on the constant lookout for falling...
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Hey Bartender, Get a Life!
Just after I finished with college a terrible mistake was made and I was persuaded by my brother-in-law to attend an Amway meeting. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Amway, they are like the...
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My 10 Most Amazing Accomplishments in Life Thus Far
For reasons beyond my comprehension, at least once a week I encounter a patron at my bar who, with great empathy and pity, asks me why I am still bartending at my age. Because I’m not retarded (for...
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Shit People Say to Bartenders
IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS YET, CHECK IT OUT AND THEN YOU’LL UNDERSTAND WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A BARTENDER NIGHT IN AND NIGHT OUT. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McMWRA4Tzw0 Tagged: bartender, humor blogs,...
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Hi, My Name’s Micah and I’m a Gigantic Tool!
Hi, I’m Micah and despite the fact that I have failed bartending school six times, I would like to help you learn how to get a bartending job. I am a bit bland to listen to, but at least my advice is...
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The Wine Douche
Hello, my name is Daniel and I love wine. If you do not believe me, just ask people who I serve wine to and they will tell you that I love it. I used to work with Dave at a restaurant that served...
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Bartender Ride-Along
Cops are so lucky. They get to wear a sparkly badge and eat doughnuts and tell people to spread ‘em. They carry around their shooty-things on their hip and get to hit people in the upper thighs...
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The Bourne Illumination
IT’S LIKE LOOKING IN A MIRROR! I have always wanted to be a bad-ass action hero, from the time I was about four, watching The Six-Million Dollar Man, up until about two days ago. One of the great...
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10 Greatest TV and Movie Bartenders of All Time
Someone emailed me the other day and asked me who I thought the greatest Hollywood bartender of all time was, and seeing as I have chosen to unearth and report all things bar-related in the industry...
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Don't Look Now, But Your Server Hates You
Reblogged from TheRealBarman: THE TOP 10 MISTAKES THAT WILL TEMPT A SERVER TO DEFILE YOUR FOOD Many people may not know this about me, but I'm on a committee to pass a bill that requires people to work...
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TheRealBarman Voted Best Bartender in the Bay Area by Some Drunk Guy who...
Finally, after all these years I’ve received the recognition I deserve. This guy told me last night that I was the best bartender in the Bay Area. I’m not sure what his credentials are, but I’m...
View ArticleClik here to view.
10 Things You Are Certain to do When You’re Wasted!
1. Lose your hearing. Either that or you become extremely nearsighted because when you are wasted, you will shout at someone standing two feet away from you as if they are on the other side of a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Hey Bartender, Get a Life!
Just after I finished with college a terrible mistake was made and I was persuaded by my brother-in-law to attend an Amway meeting. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Amway, they are like the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
10 Reasons Bartenders Hate Managers
It is not secret that in order for a business to run smoothly the staff needs to work as a cohesive group, despite rank or status. Or maybe it is a secret, because it seems that I find more bars than...
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